contradictions

The name says it all.This is all about the contradictions and how the word "contradict" varies from each aspect.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

If Men Wrote Problem Pages...

So yeah,im done with exams and i ve nothing to do except asda,haha sounds absurd eh? YES i know but since i ve three months to utilize/utilise so I guess bleuukkh. Lately i dont know why, i just feel like meeting new people,i ve seen some confidence in me. WOO-HOOO boyy. Arent im a lucky little bastard with a fat belly coming out ? *grin* lol but comeon, single pack aint tht bad either,ahaha. So at job mostly i read newspapers, especially The Sun :D and "talking to Mirane" is the only spicy thing to read in that paper,i mean come on people with their sex problems. haha. its really funny at times though instead of talking to their partners,they email/mail Mirane about their sexual problems. haha i mean COME ON !! lol but seriously what i was wondering actually If men wrote problem pages. how would that be, just like this, or may be i should start to write problem pages from now onwards. :P

Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me?

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If youre still
not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him?

A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys?

A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (its great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to dowhen he returns home it is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesnt know where my clitoris is?

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay?

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one?

A: Im not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps youve forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

2 Comments:

Blogger usman said...

haha dude this is SO NOT a copyright infringementttt :P actuallyyy this thing has been published in the paperr by tatafry. :P hahaha SO, SUE ME ARSE BOY .. SUE ME!
lol

6:00 AM  
Blogger Opinionated Jaahil said...

hahahah:|....ok i need to stop laughing and be the feminist that i am not.screw feminism.I'm willing to do the cooking my husband a nice meal bit everyday, the rest ofcourse depends. Atleast i'm willing to do what is crucial to the happiness and stability of a relationship: cooking nice meals. The rest we shall see.

this was effing hilarious.

i shall have to thank my beloved irtiza for showing me this *gem* of a post.

10:04 AM  

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