*in no mood*

Mama, take this badge off of me
I can't use it anymore.
It's gettin' dark, too dark for me to see
I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.

Did a cover of this song at LSE's night which is "Crush". Felt an overwhelming response and felt so good, and at one moment, I felt like fighting up for something, fighting up for something. Its always strange, you get deep into things and the outcome is always low or infact "nothing". Literally, life's a mess for everyone, make it, money life , love life,routine life ... anything. I wonder, if Life was perfect for anyone, but may be, thats how it is ... ... ....
Lately I've been going to her blog everyday ...not her, infact a couple of people's blog, and what I actually see is "despair", I wonder, Its a phase, A neumatic Phase of neverending sorrows, probably which would work off as it goes up and down ... Lately I've been doing alot of Texting/talking with/to a friend,just alot of ... and now there's a strange chemistry poppin up, i know things would never work off, and probably would be too shabby coz of the time span ? but again, thats how it is.
Smoked a joint after ages today, and then I started to listen to Khan sahab ( for some people who're not sure bout khan sahab, khan sahab stands for "Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan" ) .. was in another world ... I seriously do wonder, why do we smoke ? why do we do drugs ? PLEASURE ? bullshit, i repeat, bull shit, because, YOU want to overcome the pain ? but what pain ? ... basically what I think is, Life is a dream with no outcome at all ...
Btw it feels great to go for a small walk after fajr prayers around surray quays in london :)