FINALLY,the hairy animal could dance.
Yes Yes I know,its been awhile since i posted something nice,worth reading stuff on this lovey dovey "beyooottiifool bloggendarland". So let me tell you miss blogg,it was a lovely week,yes a lovely week,mr Hairy animal had alot of fun actually (NO,not that kind of fun). Its strange though bcuz me aka usman aka muhammed aka mo aka mr hairy animal has too many hairs on my body,its like one of those excessive things which should be in a minimal order on a humanbeing(especially guys,but girls with too much hairs make me go kill myself or make me go getting fucked right me up my own punani,NO im serious bout this one) , but may be i might be one of those humanbeings who has special mercy of God i.e. people who does good deeds only *grin* whattt? i could be nice too when i want too? dont stare at this screen if God isnt showing His mercy on you,you know it, I know it,I GOO GIRRLL! *says it in a loud voice and shakes his ass*
But seriously,have you been attacked by strange perceptive questions about your body hairs? the answere might be NO unless you're a hairy animal like me,but wait yo,im the only one of this kind,k? I MEAN, if you do find someone better,forget him,forget the fact that he even exists,think bout me,yes me! so yeah i was telling you about excesiveness of these hairs,that i actually think that im an APE,my so called parents might have tortured my real parents(yes,the holy apes) and kidnapped me and made me live like a human. OR may be the bird who drops the children to people houses might have made a mistake by dropping me at the wrong house i.e YES,the human's house and dropped the other guy at my real house. yes,there are alot of possibilities but the question ARISE is, WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? why ? yes goo on,tell me,why?
TIRED? eh ? cant hear you? NO,type a bit faster or comeon,give me a call,im a nice guy,athletic body(yeah,real athletic that you could actually see a double chin coming off my stomach) and all the other hot stuff you could actually think off apart from considering a thing which is in my pants,i dont let people talk bout it,ok? stop it you pervert. i was talking bout my hairs,because this topic isnt about a chicken who crossed the road for the sake of it bcuz he needed to use those customer toilets which arent even cleaned,YES,not even in england.so yeah im the hairy animal.the asian who have hairs here,hairs there,hairs everywhere. bloody everywhere even under his tiny miny something special. :P
Yes,the hairy animal was telling you bout something important.something really important. this beast(yes because he is hairy,he has ugly big teeths to chew chickens so they could never cross the roads,has a double sexy one packed body,and utterly clean big mustaches) was invited to a wedding. and yes the wedding was asian. YES i know YES. full on insecure and nail biting moments if you're watching a cricket match between india vs Pakistan,a baseball game between NY yankees and Boston Red Sox and ofcourse a football match between arsenal vs manchester united or either liverpoolvs manchester united(btw we kicked chelsea's bum in the match,doesnt matter if we lost the match,at times we let our opponents win TEAM SPIRIT GIRL.) so yes the hairy animal was asked to dance,yes the indian tradition to say you're the lord of dancing or in other words "please fuck off,i dont like you so dance with us so we could say back that you suck".
So the beast accepted the challenge and he had only 5 days so inshort it was a historic moment because history was about to be writen down once again( PAUSE,yes,i have to piss,you guys should go and get something to eat too). yes back,ahh im feeling better now. so coming back to our topic.
The beast contacted everybody in his contact list on msn,aim and to the worst he even asked the people on certain chatrooms(yes the only adult ones,he loves to be an adult *grin*) but all went invain,so he tried calling different people in his random calling list and quite strangely every single one of them said no to him because its almost impossible to do moves infront of a beast when you're not even sure if he is an ape or a human.
So from nowhere an angel appeared and he had a special conversation with the beast aka the hairy animal.
Since the hairy animal was sleeping when the angel came,so appologies in advance.
Angel : Son ...
Beast : *burr*burr*
Angel : Son ..wake up ..
Beast : *burr*burr*
Angel : *touches his wings on beast's face so that he could get a feeling that someone is in the room*
Beast : *burr*burr* changes position
Angel : *slaps hard on beast's arse*
Beast : oh pehnchoddd (mailto:$3$@#$%)!
Angel : *ahem* im sorry,i dont have any fetishes against animal arses,its just,im here to help you
Beast : HELP ME? by touching my ass so you could go wank off in the toilet?
Angel : NO,you're a beast not pamela anderson!
Beast : ohhh rigghhttt ... who are you bytheway? what are you doing in my room at this time?
Angel : Im an angel,im the angel of help,i help poor souls like you in the hour of need.
Beast : but huh,mr angel i earn more then 10k pounds a year,im not really poor.
Angel : well,hmph,*thinks hard* God said you were a poor soul, damn mathematics,this is exactly why i was saying God to send somebody else for you.
Beast : *hugs* come on my man,you're the mannn !
Angel : *hugs back tightly*
Beast : i could actually feel something *strange face*,dont squeeze me guy!
Angel : *blushes* i was watching baywatch,im sorry.
Beast : dude you sick angel,whatever! tell me why in the world are you here?
Angel : so that you could dance my son.
Beast : oh *a broad smile* are you serious?
Angel : yes son. *comes forward for a hug*
Beast : ohh you stopp rightt there! *pause* how could you help me mr angel?
Angel : this is the holy book for dancing,i ordered this one from yellow pages,its the copy of the book "dancing for dummies" but more of a heavenly copy.
Beast : oh does it have pictures in it?
Angel : no,except the ones i tried to make as beautiful as pamela anderson.
Beast : dude,how come you're an angel? you're sick!
Angel : SO ? angels are supposed to reproduce too my son.
Beast: keep ur reproduction to urself yo! gimme the book *takes the book*
*kaboom,the angel has gone - gone with the wind*
the next day the beast opened the book and it had a double sided dvd with it,so he played the dvd, from the ancient matrix style moves to the traditional indian karthak dance to the shakingness of your ass like Beyonce.the dvd & the book had it all. I was quite happy as i was about to write my name in history through dancing. so the emergence of rock,pop,suffism,metal and jazz took place and the result was a strange dance from the beast aka the hairy animal aka me.
By working hard for 5 days n nights,I was so confident about my moves that i was sure,i could be the last dancer in bollywood movies but ofcourse the best dancer around in lollywood only if the guy was ready to pick me up while dancing and not to lick my neck/kiss/touch my belly or my arse while recording the film. so I was ready as a brand new motor car for his first round,as a new guy who's ready to knock anything out or may be as a new actress who's ready to deliever a mind blowing thrilling dance experience to the masses.and I actually danced my arse off and it was pretty amazing. yes,seriously.amazing. may be even if u think it was bad,it wasnt,it was really good bcuz i said so,and at the end it made me proud because i could actually say now that the hairy animal could dance and ofcourse he could stop the chicken too now from crossing the road. By the way just for the record,you do have some massive FREE time,i could sense it off,you should've done something worthwhile instead of reading my post ? for example to actually HELP an older lady to cross the road instead of the chicken because im sure,you'd prefer chicken first,you sick!
posted by usman @ 10:44 PM
0 comments
